The dress fits correctly. The flowers are freshly prepared. Mothers are crying. Bridesmaids are trying to stop. Groomsmen are choked up and the little nephew that involuntarily became the "famed" ring bearer just won't stand still. The Lord's Prayer was sung just right! Hallelu-yer! (sings) D-o-o-o-o you know-w-w-w-w what today is-s-s-s-s? Well, it's not your anniversary, it's your wedding day, but if you haven't really thought this through, you may never reach your anniversary. You're standing there proudly taking your vows before God and before men. It feels good, at least it feels like the thing to do. My advice: think it through again. Examine yourself and your potential mate before you tie that knot to make sure your goals in this union are in sync. SIDEBAR: Please know that I recognize that #1 - Bad things happen to good p eople everyday, #2 - Good people turn into bad people everyday, #3 - We all make mistakes and wrong choices in life. That being said, my mind goes back to one thing my wife told me leading up to our wedding day, even on the night before our wedding. She told me that, if at any time, I didn't feel that I could do this or be what we both will pledge it to be, that I can back out, EVEN if at the altar. Yes, she gave me permission to back out at the altar, for she was willing to lose out on the value of the dress, the flowers, the tears of joy, the catering for a truth that cannot be taken back once vowed. A pride-removed statement could actually save you from a life of despair and frustration. To be quite honest, I was a bit nervous on our wedding day. I was only nervous that something may go wrong and upset her, but I wasn't nervous about my decision to marry this woman. 
Please take inventory of yourself and your potential spouse. Make lists and count up the costs. Examine yourself and make sure you are able to give your potential spouse what he/she needs. Wait! REWIND: Make sure you are willing to attempt to give your spouse what he/she needs. Make sure you are wiling to tolerate the habits and truths that you already see in your spouse. Some people saw signs and truths before they stood at the altar. They tricked themselves into thinking they can change their spouse only to find out that they could not change that behavior, and all of a sudden, it became intolerable. If your potential spouse exhibits a temper on a level that you dislike now, perhaps you need to decide if you can tolerate that in marriage.
What can you not tolerate? Trust me, it's not a magic ring that you will wear and it doesn't change your personality. What am I trying to say? Success in marriage is a long term goal. It's not a quick fix, not a business deal. I know of a family member who, when asked why he married, replied with, "We just thought it was something we would try." TRY? Try out a restaurant. Try out an iPad, but please don't try marriage. Marriage is an act of longevity. While many marriages don't last for whatever reason, (I'm not hatin') your marriage, to be or already existing, doesn't have to end up in divorce court. Pray. Think sensibly. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your potential spouse. Show him/her off. Let your family members "check 'em out." While their opinion is not always absolute, sometimes, people can see what you cannot. I observed a case where "he" was never brought around even though he was requested. The wedding day came and the wedding left.....so did the love, if it was ever there. Now, someone reading this may say, but you don't understand. I have been waiting a long time to marry. BJ, you're married and you go home to someone everyday. While this may be true, we all bear the responsibility to "pray, think and confirm" before we say I do. I don't care how old you are. You can marry at 85 years old, but if it isn't right, it won't work. I'm just asking that you think it through again and act accordingly.
As I sit here by my wife, comfortable in the bed, she says to me, "There's a war going on. If you're gonna win, you better be sure you have Jesus deep down within." Random to some, but not so random to the believer. Go figure. The goal is 'Till Death Do We Part." That's what we say right? Check out this blog link. 'Til Death Do We Part
I was driving my automobile on a few days ago and realized that I am behind on its maintenance. It is time to change the oil, have the brakes checked and get a balance and rotation on the tires. Maintaining an automobile is so much more than just paying the note, filling it with gas and making sure it’s stocked with your favorite CDs. It could be much worse if I drove a luxury car for the costs of tires, engine parts would amount to so much more. Much is the same with your marriage and relationship. You must work to maintain the marriage or it may just fail you. Just as you have to keep the car washed on the outside and clean on the inside, so must you do with the precious gift of marriage. It’s work for sure! In the traditional sense of the concept of marriage, a man and a woman supposedly hop into a car adorned by tissue, bottles and graffiti, and ride off into the sunset headed straight for mari
tal bliss. That looks and sounds good, but even that same car that they hopped into needs tires, gas, and even windshield wiper fluid. If I may, allow me to highlight a few ingredients that your car of marriage requires to maintain a well-oiled machine as you travel down that freeway of love. Oil: Oil serves as the lubricant of the engine. It serves as a coating within the engine block that allows the pistons to continue to move freely and keep the engine flowing smoothly. Oil can serve as the life of a car. You can run out of other fluids in the car, but please don’t run out of oil. I don’t know what the oil of your marriage is, but find it and keep plenty of it handy. The oil of your marriage may be a soft answer that turns away wrath, or it may be a guaranteed kiss at night before bed and when you depart from your spouse. Whatever it takes to keep your marriage running smooth, do it. Sometimes in marriage, spouses get so caught up in looking at what their spouse is not doing, that they forget that they are not doing their part. We cannot always be reactive, but always proactive. Find some oil. It’s the life of the car of marriage. Gas: Gas is the substance that fuels and propels the car of marriage. Look into your marriage and find out what fuels your marriage and make sure you have plenty of it. For some, it could be frequent date nights, long trips, late night conversations or brunches on the back deck. Whatever propels your marriage toward your goals in
life, stock up on it the next time you make a pitstop. You are going to need all the gas you can get. That bad thing about gas is that if it is ignited with fire, it is very explosive and usually destroys anything or anyone that is around it, so don’t let anyone or anything cause sparks to get next to the fuel that propels your relationship. Don’t let them get anywhere near your gas tank and start smoking or lighting a fire. It could blow up your marriage! Wipers and Fluid: Windshield wipers are designed to remove precipitation and debris from your windshield to insure that you can see the road in front of you clearly. Typically, there are two blades that swing back and forth in rhythm. I said there are TWO blades! Hear me people. These blades synchronize themselves and swing which allows you to look forward and move on down the road. As rain, snow, or whatever may be blocking your view increases and gets worse, you must adjust the speed of the blades to a higher speed. Keep a clear view on your goals in marriage. That’s the only way you will be able to continue to drive. Pulling over for no reason is not an option in marriage, so turn up those wipers and keep moving down the road of life and marriage. Every now and then, we make the mistake of hitting a bird, or bugs may fly onto to the windshield leaving dried debris to stick to the windshield, obstructing your view. That’s when you must couple the movement of the synchronized blades with something called wiper fluid. This special fluid is formulated to remove the dry debris that has rested on your windshield. The debris may be crusty and hard to remove, but windshield wiper fluid is responsible for getting it off. During the winter months, it is also designed to remove sheets of harsh, cold ice that will deflect your view and make it impossible for you to see. You see, you need good wipers and wiper fluid as you embark on this journey called marriage. You need to be able to see clearly down the road, so you can stay on track and avert any road hazards. While looking through this windshield of marriage, you may see others on the side of the road who have stalled, those who have had to pull over for more gas and yes, even those who have totally wrecked and died in the crash, but when you both can see clearly your goal, your chances of survival are greater. Horn: A horn is necessary because there are careless drivers on the other side of your automobile. Sometimes, people, and things, outside of your marriage will try to derail you, but if you sound the horn, if you let it resound, you increase your chances of a successful marriage. Don’t let anyone come between you and your spouse. Your marriage is unique and special of itself. It is designed for you and your spouse, not even your children or your parents. There is a special place that has been designed for married couples and that place is one where no one else should be allowed. Use your horn when someone or something tries to wreck you and your spouse. That’s what it’s there for you see. Lights: Every now and then, you will find yourself trying to navigate your marriage through some cold, dark nights. These are nights when the moon may not even offer its light for use. You need to make sure you ha
ve lights so you can see. You won’t get too far if you cannot see at night. Often times, in marriage, you have to shine some light on situations. That’s right, you have to be real, open and honest, so that you can see circumstances for what they really are. Furthermore, Ask God to shine His light on the marriage. I guarantee you, if you ask Him, He will do it. Once His imminent light radiates, you will see your marriage for what it really is supposed to be. There are a few different types of lights: head lights, park lights, fog lights, etc. There are even interior lights, so that you can see what’s happening on the inside. Tires: Have you ever been driving when you suddenly experienced a blowout? It’s a sudden moment when your tire bursts while you are moving at a high speed. Most blowouts are associated with poor traction on the actual tire, not just debris on the road. Make sure you check the tires in your marriage, so that you don’t experience a blow out while driving. Emissions Testing: It is very common now to get required emissions testing. The purpose of emissions testing is to insure that your automobile is not releasing any harmful fumes, gases and that all exhaust systems are up to par. What does that have to do with marriage? You want to make sure that the image, or reality, of your marriage does not give off anything that is harmful to anyone who may observe your relationship. Your marriage should not cause others to stumble. People are watching you. These things and so many more will help us all to maintain good marriages and relationships. If you’re single, these principles still apply to life’s relationships. Happy driving. If you pass me on the road, speak, but don’t block my flow. Freeway of Love...check it out below! 
